“Are you fu*king Nuts?”
This was the reply I got from my former payroll manager, after I told him that the following Friday would be my last day with the company (this was on a Wednesday) as I was leaving to go to South East Asia for the next (indefinite- sorry Mom!) few months.
I had already made my announcement to friends, family, and colleagues- roughly around 50 people- and this was the first (and only) response of its kind, the rest had been nothing but praise. Ok, to be fair, my parents still aren’t thrilled.
But still, I like those odds!
“I’m curious to see what life is like in other parts of the world” I replied to him, but I knew it would do no good.
I LOVED my life in New York.
I had been living in New York City for three years, a dream of mine since I was a teenager.
I had a great job that I enjoyed, with a great boss. I had a great apartment with a wonderful roommate in a great neighborhood that I adored. I dated a wonderful man for a while. I had (have!) great friends, my best friend since 8th grade lived a 15 minute walk away from me.
Why was I willing to sell all my things and leave all that behind?
In New York, I went to work, I went to dinner, I went to happy hour, I went to weddings, I went to funerals, I went to parties, I went to that exhibition the last weekend before it closed.
The short answer is, I just got to a point where I evaluated my life and the only reply I gave myself was “Meh”.
Don’t get me wrong – I am grateful for everything I have, really, truly, deeply.
I just got to a point where I told myself “My life is great, I’m not angry, I’m not depressed, but if ‘This is it’ thats great, but I want this now, I can have all of this back, if I want”.
And then I turned 30.
“The older I get, the longer I wait, the more responsibilities will be weighing me down, there is never a right time, but, if there ever was, now would be it” is the explanation I gave most people. All understood, and agreed with me. No further questions.
I’m just doing the “Eat, Pray, Love” experience before the messy divorce, gut wrenching breakup, and depression (and hope to never experience any of those!).
Next week will be one month in SE Asia, there have been some hiccups certainly: I’m not thrilled with the current city I’m in, I’m getting used to the roaches, the heat, not wearing any makeup (thats been paradise!), the harassing Tuk Tuk Drivers, perpetually overcoming the language barrier (hand gestures help!) but, everyday, I am getting pushed more and more out of my comfort zone.
Being here, has given me the lense to see things more clearer, what I want, what I need, and what I can live without.
So, am I fucking nuts for doing this?
I’d be fucking nuts not to.